Friday, September 28, 2012

what makes me happy

When I was in high-school I bought name brand clothing. I remember thinking to myself that I will never buy clothes from Wal-Mart. I used cosmetics that were from department stores, not the pharmacy. I wasn't over the top, but what I liked weren't the cheapest. I remember owning Calvin Klein jeans.

When I got married, we combined debt, we're on our own and taste had to down grade. It wasn't a big deal. We didn't even notice it, it just happened. Then kids came and one day, I realized my clothes were from Wal-Mart, cosmetics (if I used them at all) came from the pharmacy, and what I bought for myself came with guilt. What a change it was. I remember asking hubby for to give me money as a birthday gift and that I would just shop for myself. That shopping trip was not fun at all. I argued with myself. I felt like I was wasting money.

Now, after 4 kids, I am ever cheaper with my taste. If that were even possible. I don't grumble about it though, because again it just happens. I just started realizing it when I go with some mom friends, and some of my old friends and they still have the name brand stuff. I looked at my stuff and felt slightly ashamed. Very slightly. Teeny tiny bit.

When I think about what I have, I actually have more than any other person in the world. I have the greatest husband in the world, I have 4 awesome kids, I have a home, my husband provides for more than we could ever need, and we are all healthy. How can I be jealous of the name brand stuff? That is not to say that I don't have my vices. I like purses. But the coach purse I got for Christmas last year didn't make me any happier than my $30 purse from Kohls. The thing about having a  lot of purses is that I don't get to use them that much. It also doesn't make me feel guilty to give them to salvation army when I have to purge. Let it bless others, I enjoyed them, and I felt good passing them on to others.

Today I am brought to happiness by non-material things. I am happy when I see my kids play together without fighting. It makes me happy when I stop doing and just be with my family sitting on the couch watching a movie that the kids enjoy. Lately, I am most happy when I see the excitement of my kids after I make them a shirt and all they want to do is wear it for a couple of days. It brings a big smile on my face. I am happy when my husband comes home earlier than expected. :) I am happy when at the end of the day, I realize no one has had a tantrum and I didn't blow up on anyone.


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